Never say anything and everything when you're mad

I just read this story and I find it so similar to my past, till present i guess.

 

A girl agreed to the guy's proposal because he convinced her that she was the missing part from his heart. Naturally, problems came into the picture and they quarrel very often. There was this once where it got so heated up that he said "Maybe it was a mistake for us to be together, you were never the missing part of my heart!"
It hurt the girl badly and soon later they went separate ways..  Five years went by and he never remarry but tried to find out bout her life indirectly. He regretted his actions really badly, but never tried to get her back. He couldn't admit that he was missing her...

There was this sentence which really make me wanna carry on reading, "In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart" This is so me really, I can't explain more about it cause its just what i did. Let the story continue..

One day they saw each other at the airport, had a short exchange words and the girl said that she would call him when she's is back from her trip. However, on the same evening she died on a plane crash, he was devastated. On the same night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart yet again, and found out that she was really the missing part from his heart..

Damn, what a touching story to me, maybe because this is exactly what happen to us, but maybe not serious as in, the girl died. Thats why guys can never understand guys and girls can never understand guys.. Sometimes we don't really mean in what we say or our actions.. This guy was never given a second chance cause yeah, he can't. Sad uh, I am too..

Hais. Words can cost u dearly.......

Gonna meet Farhan earlier tomorrow to look for a shirt for my birthday. I was shocked when he told me he might just get a Agnes B wallet tomorrow lol! That slut never spend more than 200sgd for any non-electronics related shit. Hahaha.

I am super, crazy fucking tired right now, did lot of clearing up today but didn't expect it to be so tiring. Probably its the sudden change in body clock, been working 4am-12pm for a few days and suddenly its 9am-6pm today.

Alright time for some songs session and relaxing..

I hope you read this and understand that I made mistakes too...

2 main issues right now.

Alright, life just got slightly tougher after today, gotta make decisions, gotta show lots of initiative..

CWO just told me i have an interview schedule with the Head Air Logistics of Airforce regarding signing on. I gotta work my way to up my Pes status, many other things to sort out. I might have a chance now yet I am procrastinating. I don't wish to miss the Udon detachment with my batch boys too. Not sure if I'm ready to redo my BMT, not sure if i should really choose Airforce as my career. Any advices? Hmm..

The second issue has always been an issue like 6 months ago.. Should i, should i not.

Troubled.

Fuck.

Was hoping for an 4am shift so i can get home early on a Friday... but i got this wtf 9am shift, damn it.

Can't wait for this on Saturday with poly peeeeeps:



Gonna celebrate Lee's 21st birthday also, like almost half a month later. Oppps. Everyone's too busy, i tried to help to plan but failed... In any case i won't forget how helpful he was during poly days when i encounter some really screwed up problem hahahah.

I really miss those poly days man, we would hang out in town like nobody's business. Not worried of being late for lessons.. Stayed in school to achieve some big project together with my best mates, damn.

I wish someone could guide me in making those really major decisions. I might look decisive, MIGHT, but well, I'm not.

You got me, uh?

Saturday, I'm one day nearer!!

Hell yeah tomorrow is Thursday. Hope after my shift we won't need to go for the monthly CO call.... I'll be damn shag to even listen what the hell he is saying. First time waking up so early, like fucking 2.30am when i don't even see a single soul on the main road. Quite a good experience and this will just be my first few times, 1 more year of duties to go..

Thanks to JJ, I don't have to walk to squadron in the road without lamp post, i swear its damn scary 3am in the morning.. Phew.

Just as i thought i can purchase songs from iTunes that day, its finally made available to my fellow Singaporeans!! Woohoo. I rather buy selected songs than the whole album cause not every song is gonna be good. Actually, not like i purchase albums from stores before lol!

Really like those 2 korean songs in my previous post, just this 2 my friends. I'm not a Kpop fan.

Progressing well with my story book hehe, slightly proud of myself. Finally read something which i totally understand, imma take my time, might just finish it only at the end of this year.

Good news is that my Sis is paying half the buffet money for my birthday hehe, and my mum is gonna top up an additional of 500sgd! Alvin is gonna pay the cake for me, niceeee.

Bad news is that my mum told me that my Sis is gonna pay full for the buffet, okay la I shouldn't be so greedy lol.

Lots of commotion about the heavily discussed topic of money scam in CHC. Sometimes I wonder why those christians still feel a need to continue respecting their pasters.... He took your hard earn money! Nevertheless, nothing gotta do with me so, relac.

This is really an old video but any of you who need a laugh, you can watch this:

 

Alright gonna sleep soon.

I need more than laughter everyday....

Guard off.

Did my torturous guard yesterday, can't wait for the 24hrs to over so badly. This senior really, motherfuckingblowjob. I really need to type that.

Search and search and finally found it!

What the fug right, i'm listening to korean songs. I have to admit it is really good espcially this 2:

This is newer off course.

Slightly old but still nice.

I only like this 2 in the album so don't think imma Korean freak, hell no. Lol

I wish i'm seeing stars everyday....

Mixed feelings yet again.

I'm still awake and i need to be awake again at 6.30am later on. Hope i'll be sleepy tomorrow when i reach camp. Gonna sleep, eat and read hahah, READ.

Had post father's day dinner at Chui Xiang Kitchen around Queestown area, food's pretty good and prices rather reasonable, so if any of you thinking where to for a simple dinner, this can be a good one. Been long since i saw Chester, he is back for summer vacation, invited him to my birthday celebration too wahaha.

The attendance is increasing and the hole in my pocket is getting bigger even quicker hahaha.

Actually im looking forward to it, cause it would be cool to see my secondary school, poly, army and airforce friends together plus my relatives, nice.

Prepared Spicy lobster maggie mee, roller coaster bbq flavour, apple juice and my favourite sugared sweet from 7-11 for tomorrow's battle with time. Had a hard time to stop myself from buying cigarettes, i did though. Haiz.

Very tough, so tough........... 

Shortie weekend.

Finally, this week comes to an end. Even when it comes to the last day of the week, they wanna squeeze the hell outta us, 11hours today, omg shag. We could have gone home earlier and i'll to the sergeants graduation, but thanks to a pilot, we were stuck in base zzz.

Successfully handled the aircraft on my own today, so damn stress. When the pilot is doing his walkaround before the flight, my heart thump really quickly, afraid that he might find something wrong. This is not easy man!! Everytime the jet takes off I worry that the aircraft might not come back in a peace. Won't be able to rest well in that short period, damn.

I only have a short Saturday, most probably gonna spend some time with my relatives. But fuck, i'm doing guard on Sunday and guess what, its the most fucked up senior doing guard with me. Double shit zz.

On the happier note, my birks arrived like finally after 2 weeks. Satisfied with the order still, at least i know its authentic.

Made some preparations for my birthday celebration, decided to order from this company:
 
http://www.rasel.com.sg/menu/buffet.htm

My sis said its good because some of her friends have tried it before. I'm seriously cool with anything as long as the guests likes it.

I'm so lazy to what, decorate the function room? Gotta reach early stick this and that... If i really need to do it i hope my sis does it for me hahahah. This ain't a guy thing man! We're just cool about everything, unlike girls so picky..... Oooops.

Lots of new music leaked in iTunes rip quality, love em but not all. 

Linkin Park:


Kinda like first few and the last songs from LP album, the others kinda boring rap.

Maroon 5:


So far i only like the first and second song from this album. Hahah im picky when it comes to music.

This is not bad, semi addicted to this for now.

Just got Flo-rida's Wild One's album, gonna listen on bed, put myself to sleep....

I'm so wrong.........

Emotions.

After so long, i finally saw this video.

Very nice song, and the way she show in her expressions, i totally can feel it.

Weekends over, gosh.

It seems like weekend had just started but basically it has ended for many NSF. Next week is gonna be quite a fierce week for me, all aircrafts are back from Thailand, its gonna be a full swing flying.

Encik Gan got our passport number, expiry date and stuffs already, most probably, I'm going to Thailand, Udon, for freaking 5 weeks. I don't wish to go drinking every week with all the Enciks cause they are really crazy.

Deliberating on whether should i get a:

iPod touch?



iPad 1?



Or a Sony Z?



Thinking of getting one of this so it can accompany me throughout the 5 weeks and my remaining 7months in National Service. But i really have no idea because every item has its advantages and disadvantages, but farhan suggest Sony Z.....

My sis friend just got a confirmation that on 14th July i can have the function room for my birthday celebration, I'm so lucky cause its just freaking 30sgd! Wahaha. But it's just gonna be a small party, invited around 50+ people but most probably only 40+ will be coming, hope no one expects too much.

Also thinking if i should get a Mahattan Portage backpack...



The backpack my sis bought from Taiwan is spoilt, the zip doesn't work for the outer compartment and there's where i keep my most important stuff such as camp pass, wallet etc.

So many things to buy damn it.

Also, i made a huge step to improve my english by buying a story book, its my first ever book I've bought since i was a kid hahaha, disgraceful.

This was the book i bought:

I read the back of the book and it looks like a mixture of thrill and love. I didn't even realise i like books with romantic storyline until i visit Prologue Ion yesterday, that's not being gay! Its because i feel that i understand how the author felt when she/he was writing the book. Gonna try to finish this in 2 months, its not crazily thick.

Alright gonna sleep in awhile, gotta be fresh and ready tomorrow.



Hmmm, what should i do?

Dilemma

Apple:

The 15-inch MacBook Pro will be 0.71 inches (1.8 centimeters) thick and weigh 4.46 pounds (2.02 kilos) and include the retina display, described as "the world's highest resolution notebook display with over five million pixels, three million more than an HD television.

This looks like a good sign, most probably gonna get this for my university next year, double boot it with windows, perfect laptop.

Sometimes i feel that we usually don't treasure our things until we realise that its gone. For example, my iMac is sitting there everyday and i'm using it, don't really feel so blessed about it, but one day if its gone, i'll feel that i haven't treasure it enough. I need to start appreciating whatever that's around me...

The enciks bought like almost 30+ durians to celebrate durian festival, and to be honest i don't even know there's such day. They even bought coconut drinks and liang teh for us to make sure we don't "overheat" lol. Encik gan even said "tomorrow or friday who take MC, i will kill u" lmao at his tone totally.

If we are gonna get PE-ed successfully tomorrow, i'm just waiting for an interview with the OC and i'm ready to sign off my own aircraft. I'm not kidding this is holy shit heavy responsibility.

In case you don't know what i'm going in airforce.
Although i like this job, i feel its a regular job instead of an NSF! Our duty is really crucial..

I don't really know what i should do. After seeing you, i feel like talking to you.. but on the hand i don't wanna feel hurt again. I wish you could tell me a cool, direct and happy answer..


If time could be turned back, i promise i would...............

Its now physically and mentally tiring.

Reported to camp at 5.45am today, luckily the aircrafts are only flying today and friday. Supported flying and also had our Personal Evaluation since the sky was dark until the sky went dark again.

We all perspire like crazy, the amount of walking distance i covered today might just be about 5km within my area omg, this is madness, physically tiring.

While filling up the forms to sign off our aircraft, i was so scared to make a mistake. Yz and me made quite a terrible mistake which might get us into real trouble. Hope the IC be more lenient on noobies like us.. This form can be used on civilian court to charge you, no joke, mentally stressed up.

As mentioned, was forced to take leave yesterday. Didn't really regret, instead i was thankful about it. My sis and i got home about 2am monday morning!! The USS trip organised by my dad company was really enjoyable. The rides were opened into the night and it was much more thrilling and cooling, and the sun wasn't there to make you feel sticky all over. But still, the Jurassic Park ride screw me up! We were trying to avoid the water 3/4 through the ride and then it came the mass splash of water........

AND MY SIDE WAS THE WORST WTF!

My whole Birkinstock was soaking in water luckily i already ordered a new one hehe. We experienced the cyclone  roller coaster thrice hahaha, finally get to take it more than once and the waiting time is like less than 10mins?! Previously i went on a saturday and i wated fucking 45mins just for 45seconds, whaddaheck. Had the 20inch pizza thanks to the vouchers given by my dad's company woohoo, it was super tasty, anyone going to USS the next time should try it.

Spend 1/2 the day my own yesterday, went down to National Skin Center to collect the remaining cream to ensure the acne doesn't act up again! Trained back to Clementi for some pool training, and i hate it when my palms get sweaty for nothing, can't cue properly for nuts zz. I'm all over Singapore yesterday, alone, like a tourist.
My day got brighter when i meet Jiaxuan, haven't seen her for like 3months. Its good to see her, feel so comfortable talking to her.. Settled down for dinner at Ippudo for ramen, i'm not really a fan of ramen but i have to say that this ramen really taste good. She gave me the stuff that she actually wanted to prepare for my 21st birthday... and i passed her some stuff that she left at my house. I can't bear to part with her although what was written on my face was, yeah i'm fine i'm okay, but i'm not...

Damn, I haven't got over her at all.

Tomorrow will be a better day...................

Extracted from Yahoo.

Breakup tip 3: Avoid binging on booze

Whatever you do, don’t seek refuge in alcohol because, as much as your favourite tipple may cheer you up, it can make your emotions come crashing back down twice as fast. You’re more likely to drink more than usual after a breakup to help you relax and forget about your worries, but alcohol makes more problems than it brings about solutions. One minute you’re having a quiet drink over a meal with your friends, and the next you’re knocking back tequila slammers like there’s no tomorrow. You wake up with a banging headache and a ‘sent messages’ folder (all to your ex) longer than the list of drinks you managed to chug back the night before. Avoid alcohol at all costs. Don’t keep it in the fridge, don’t walk past the shop, and don’t even look at the pub on your way home from work.

Is it true..? Should be.

Still the same

Quite a number of us were forced to take leave these few days, the operations side doesn't have much flying to do, kinda last minute but we don't have much choice also.

Had a short catch up with poly clique this evening, had our usual House of Steamboat! Been a long time since i met farhan, 1 month ago, usually we have lots of bullshit to talk about haha, gonna meet him and jason for lunch at Manhattan tomorrow!

Have lots to say, but don't really know where to start. I dreamt of you 2-3 times in a couple of days, mind-blowing really.. This thing is really gonna haunt me down, for this year at least. Feel so uncomfortable haiz :(

Visited theQshop on friday, saw some cues like Fury and Lucasi, but Lucasi is totally out of my budget lol. I'm considering to get Fury which cost around 181sgd, since its gonna be my long time hobby.

Visited Kinokuniya just now also! Totally have no idea what book should i get. Interested to get a book from the Self-enrichment section but somehow i feel weird about it and i don't know why, gonna seek some advice from the mard tomorrow hehe.

It starts to rain heavily at night these few days, kinda good for stay home people like me, such a cooling night to sit infront of my iMac and chill, watch some movies and videos.

Pardon me for being vain for awhile, hahaha finally get to test our the front camera of my iMac. This is my favorite lepak position while using my com.

Just ordered my Birkinstock too, cost a bomb! 93sgd! I'm sick of my current Florida hehe. My mum is prolly gonna nag for a few days for wasting money, but fuck it.

 

Like this design plainly because if i were to wear jeans with it i won't look so stupid. Sometimes i just feel like wearing jeans but not shoes, haha weird.

Sometimes i don't really get it, must u really party so hard and crazy that you need to club for like 3-4 times a month?! I know i don't have much say, but as girl, i don't know i just feel its not so right. Your mum won't want you to lead this type of life. Its for your own good and safety also. But then again, i can only express, nothing i can do or say... I really regret, but life goes on, Do your best Shaun.

Got so into Secret Circle recently, a really good black magic and witches series show. Can't stop when i start!! I don't really wanna watch it not because i don't like it, but because i will just finish all in one day and i will not have anything to do the next day zzz.

Going USS tomorrow with my family members, my dad's company organising this family event probably to encourage family bonding. Its from 7pm-11pm, gonna experiencing taking roller coaster when i can't see a shit omg, hahahahaha. Since the breakup, i spend quite some time with my family, cause they're my closest one and i found out that during this 2years plus i've been neglecting them, simply because i was so into my relationship (i'm not putting the blame on anything). Just that i would encourage teens at our age to juggle well between love and family, its important.

Alright, time to watch some euro 2012...............

Just a sweet dream..

Had a pretty weird, but yet sweet and happy dream. Miraculously, you came back to my life but then...
 

Just a dream....

Really like Pumped Up Kicks, its a calm yet nice song. So hard to describe my feelings nowadays, because its a mixture of almost everything.. Definitely uncomfortable.

What i really need now...? What i really am or becoming into...?

Somebody enlighten me :(

Idea.s

Something like this! But with more wavy currents.

Decent saturday.

Saw something interesting on yahoo news:

If he chooses the seat opposite you facing a wall he can’t be distracted by people watching – meaning he only has eyes for you! The more he focuses on you, the more he will be able to concentrate on pleasuring you during sex. A man who decides to sit in prime view of the bar may be looking for something or someone else.

 haha this is funny, but damn, its not that true though.

Cycled for probably 10km at East Coast today, with secondary school cliques. Its been a long time since we had an outing together and seen each other 2 days in a row. Some working, some schooling and some busy with other stuff, decent catch up though.

Gonna rest tomorrow and be prepared for a hectic week ahead as usual. But might just head to town to get some books. I really need to read and write, a lot!! Have a few NUS Electrical Engineering seniors in squadron serving their remaining 1 or 2 months of NS and they gave me useful advice. They told me life there is really 2 times worst than in squadron, totally no life. damn i dont know if im gonna be prepared for this 3years of shit.. for my future i dont have much options..

Read an article and it said Singapore has 188,000 fucking millionairs, can u really god damn believe it?! This is really crazy.

Picked up some new songs while spending 3 solid hours on youtube reviewing about those hot songs. One of them i like most was Flo Rida's Whistle.

Hmm, its like everywhere i go, i picked up pieces of broken memories, i meant EVERYWHERE. The previous relationship really walk me through my teenage years which carve deep shit in ma head. I remember asking u before if we were to break up will u forget all that we've done?.......

Feel like putting a whole piece of fine F22 artwork on my right chest and a USS John C. Stennis aircraft carrier at the bottom of my right shoulder with some wavy water current. Its gonna be big, im still thinking....

Relaxing song for the weekend:

Life's short, try everything, live well.